Your Internet Consultant - The FAQs of Life Online

4.37. How can I best annoy people with my signature?

This question isn't actually frequently asked, but perhaps it should be. Allow me to climb (once again) on my soapbox...

1. Make a very long signature file. Make sure that it exceeds the length of any Usenet post or e-mail message you send. (Many systems, run by fascist system administrators intent on stifling your creativity, truncate signature files after four lines.)

2. Draw a picture out of ASCII characters and put that in your signature. Use tabs instead of spaces so that your picture doesn't even look right.

3. Somehow goof so that every message you send has two or three signatures.

There are other ways to annoy people with your signature, which are left as an exercise for you to do. Use discretion.

If you want to be annoyed by other people's signatures, read the newsgroup alt.fan.warlords, which is devoted to critiquing signatures that go too far. Here's an example of what you'll find there:

>           /\
>          / /
>         /\ \/\
>         \ \  /  __
>       __ \ \/  / .\__
>....../ .\_\/../\
__/........................................................
>     /\  __/  / /\ \       __________
>    / /\ \   /\  /\/    .- __   / -- -\          Eric Uner
>   / /\/\/   \ \  /    / <___> ___  | |\-
ericu@comm.mot.com
>   \  / /  ___\ \/  .^| _---_ /   \ =   / \
>    \  /o / ____/   |o |  =  / o | |   ||  |     Motorola, Schaumburg,
IL
>     \/  /\ \       =0=======0==|  |----|  |=
>      o  \ \ \       \_\_/    \_\_/   \_\_/
>       /\ \ \/
>       \ \/ /  It's an Oval Window, It's a Sunroof, It's a 3.0L!
>........\
/...................................................................
>         \/
This one was also posted to alt.fan.warlords. Although I'm pretty fond of this one, most users would ask that you keep this carp off the Usenet. :-)
>                                                 .            ,
>                                                           .:/
>     Rosemary Dean Mackintosh                     .      ,,///;,
,;/
>     rosemary@clam.rutgers.edu                      .   o:::::::;;///
>"Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul!"
>::::::::;;\\\
>                                                        ''\\\\\'" ';\
>                                                           ';\

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