Three reasons to destroy the Internet

The following comes straight from the charter of alt.destroy.the.internet, the newsgroup whose ultimate goal is nothing less than the destruction of the Internet, "that menace to society whose very existence threatens the lives of countless millions of people...or at least countless millions of dollars." Why destroy the Internet?
  1. The Internet is a menace to society. These people are the ones who KNOW they're right, and they delight in dictating their opinions to others, secure in the knowledge that their opinions will be taken as gospel. The media barons, the politicians, the self-proclaimed Watchdogs of Society...these are the people whose existence is threatened by the Internet. The Internet actually dares to make all of its users EQUAL, and anyone can question anyone else's opinion. The Internet allows the transmission of uncensored news and information, free of the modifications made to it by newspapers, magazines, radio and TV. This concept of free thought and questioning of authority is a dangerous one! So to preserve the status quo, where the few tell the many what to think, THE INTERNET MUST BE DESTROYED!
  2. The Internet threatens business. An entire industry has been built on the structure of society, where the mindless masses sit at home while messages are beamed at them twenty-four hours a day - on TV, on the radio, in newspapers and magazines, on billboards, in the mail, and in any other form that can be conceived. Billions and billions of dollars in profits are made from advertising in this manner...and best of all, the public doesn't even have much of an opportunity to speak out against it. But the Internet is largely opposed to mass, in-your-face advertising...look at what happens when those brave pioneers, Canter & Seigel and Skinny Dip Thigh Cream, actually dared to do an in-your-face ad on Usenet! People are actually able to speak out against advertising...what's more, they can question the content of advertising - so that messages can't be beamed directly into their heads the way they can on TV! And as the Internet becomes more popular, traditional advertising methods (the backbone of standard media) are being threatened! Billions of dollars in profits are at risk! So, to preserve the status quo and make sure that the advertising industry remains safe and secure, THE INTERNET MUST BE DESTROYED!
  3. The Internet is a pain in the ass! The terrible lag, the sudden dropped carriers, bandwidth-wasting, time-wasting utilities like IRC and MUDs, thousands and thousands of useless Usenet messages, mass spammings, poorly-written sex stories...not to mention the urge to KILL you get when the message, or file that you've just spent the past SIX HOURS writing suddenly vanishes into the black hole of the Net because your system has just's such a royal PAIN! People get so damn frustrated at the Net, and they just want to go somewhere to vent their frustrations at this so-called miracle of modern technology. The Internet? BAH! Who needs it?!? Let's just DESTROY THE INTERNET so that we never have to deal with the damn thing again!!

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Copyright © 1994, 1995, 2004 by Kevin Savetz. The information in this book was collected in 1994-1995 and has not been updated since.