Ten Stupid UNIX Tricks

OK, so this isn't strictly a list about the Internet, it's about UNIX. Hey, there are whole lot of UNIX computers on the Internet. This is a list of things you can type at the UNIX command line prompt to get it to say goofy things. Most of these work by confusing UNIX into displaying an error message that just happens to be funny, or just happens to make sense. (Imagine that: an error message that makes sense!) Each trick is displayed in two lines: the first is what you type to the UNIX C shell and the second is UNIX's witty reply. Amaze your friends with this knowledge! (These tricks were liberated from a post to alt.folklore.computers, which referenced a gopher site which referenced another Usenet post, and so on, so I'm not sure where these first came from.)
  1. % rm meese-ethics
    rm: meese-ethics nonexistent
  2. % "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?
    Unmatched ".
  3. % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
    Missing ].
  4. % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
    Too many ('s.
  5. % make love
    Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
  6. % sleep with me
    bad character
  7. % got a light?
    No match.
  8. % man: why did you get a divorce?
    man:: Too many arguments.
  9. % ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
    Modifier failed.
  10. % ^What is saccharine?
    Bad substitute.

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Copyright © 1994, 1995, 2004 by Kevin Savetz. The information in this book was collected in 1994-1995 and has not been updated since.