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Author: Scott Knaster

Date: February , 1989

Keywords: Myth humor

Text:
MYTH-understanding
 
 Over the past 11 years, millions and millions of Apple products have
been sold to folks all over the world.  
As with any popular item of some complexity, Apple people and products
have created a distinctive culture, and this culture comes with its own
legends and harrowing tales.  After hearing these tales told and
retold, I think it's time to put a few of them to rest.  So, as a
public service, here's the truth about some of the greatest Apple
myths.
 
Myth No.1:  Apple products work better if the power cord is the same
color as the product's case. 
Those of you who have been around for a while probably know Apple's
power cords have changed color along with the products.  Long ago, when
we just weren't very stylish, all Apple power cords were black. 
Eventually, they turned beige to match our products, and now, of
course, they're platinum,just like all our other stuff. 
 Contrary to popular belief, though, you don't need a platinum cord
just because the product is platinum.
 
Myth No. 2:  Apple put an audio mode into the AppleCD SC* drive just so
its engineers would have something to listen to while they're working
those long hours. Of course, this just isn't true.  
Actually, there's an audio mode in the AppleCD SC drive so that
Macintosh* aficionados won't have to waste valuablecomputing time with
such idle activities as listening to music -- they can justkeep
computing while enjoying Beethoven  -- or Laurie Anderson.  
Apple is considering other additions to this important new trend in
peripheral features, including the Apple PopCornMaker SC and a new
control panel module (a CDEV) that starts your car on cold mornings
(not available in California).
 
Myth No. 3:  Apple employees receive free juice and massages during
working hours.
This old rumor is obviously false, but it's been persistent for many
years. Most likely, the ''free juice'' thing refers to the immense
amount of power (colloquially known as ''juice'' in some nerd circles)
that most Apple employeesconsume in their offices.  
The typical engineer's office contains four or five computers (fewer
for managers), about a gigabyte of hard disk space, amedium-size stereo
system, a small refrigerator, an electric shoe polisher, a waffle iron,
a space heater, and a free-standing arcade game.  ''Massages'' is
probably  just a misinterpretation of ''messages,'' as in phone
messages, of which every Apple employee acquires dozens.
 
Myth No. 4:  Every chapter in Inside Macintosh refers to every other
chapter, and you can't learn one without learning the others.  
Obviously, this can't be true.  If you couldn't learn one chapter
without learning the others, you'dnever be able to learn any of them,
now would you? And there are obviouslyseveral thousand people who have
learned something, because there are zillions of Macintosh
applications, and more of them keep coming out all the time.  
Of course, you will find it much easier to learn a new chapter in
Inside Macintosh if  you do already know everything else.
 
Myth No. 5: There are little tiny people inside your computer carrying
the bitsaround.   
This isn't true, as far as I know.  In his recent books, ''Communion
and Transformation,'' Whitley Streiber writes convincingly of his
encounters with intelligent non-human beings.  
Because we obviously don't understand everything about the universe,
and nobody really understands how electricity works (do you know anyone
who does?), there could possibly be little tiny people inside your
computer.  If there are, though, it's news to me.
 
Myth No. 6: Crushing your hard disk with a hydraulic press makes the
disk work better.   
I wish I could tell you how many times I've heard this old wife's tale.
No matter what you've heard from your neighbors, no matter how many
times you may have seen this process described in the various trade
journals, don't try it.  It  just doesn't help things at all.
 We hope these friendly words of information will be useful to you as
you work with Apple products.  I know I haven't had a chance to cover
all those great myths that persist, but at least we've been able to
take care of a few.  If you know of any others that you'd like to see
addressed, I'd appreciate it if you'd send them to me (Apple Computer
Inc.,  20525 Mariani Ave., M/S 46B, Cupertino 95014, or AppleLink
address KNASTER2) so we can all learn about them the next time around.
Thanks.
 
-Reprinted with permission from  Apple Viewpoints, a weekly newsletter
for
Apple developers.

Copyright © february , 1989 by Scott Knaster