Virus Alert, Virus Alert, Virus Alert, Virus Alert
Author: Bob DeLaurentis
Date: June, 1993
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack--once by LAN. twice if by C.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a ''virus'', but instead refers to itself as an ''electronic microorganism''.
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB. AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
THE MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you hate paying so much for the AT&T virus. It also infects all your friends and family.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates all open applications and itself. If you try to do something else, it'll be back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network. Also disables any spelling checkers, and appends an 'e' to each and every word on your hard disk.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard drive into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
Source: Bob DeLaurentis on CIS 76344,3460, Thanks Bob.
Copyright © june, 1993 by Bob DeLaurentis